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※ 本文為 layzer 轉寄自 ptt.cc 更新時間: 2012-03-28 15:58:44
看板 joke
作者 lin9287 (Nothing is over)
標題 Re: [耍冷] 劉備
時間 Wed Mar 28 00:31:14 2012



中山靖王的後代劉備長的貌不驚人。

就像三國某英雄常被誤認為小兵。


有一次,公孫瓚帶著劉備、關羽和張飛去見袁紹,表明要相助討伐董卓。


公孫瓚:「袁紹您好,我想跟您交個朋友,也帶了三個人想介紹給您。」

 袁紹:「好說好說,我們正需天下豪傑相助,掃蕩董卓暴黨,見一個殺一個

     絕不容情,此為國家社稷著想,望伯珪兄大力參與。」

公孫瓚:「科科,我ㄊㄨㄚˋ來的三個人都很厲害,我們可以很大力的參與。」

 袁紹:「喔?敢問三位是...?」



張飛見袁紹眼光望來,趕忙回答。

「俺是燕人張飛,俺萬夫莫敵,必殺個董卓小兒人仰馬翻。」

袁紹:「嗯嗯!張飛張飛,展翅大振一飛衝天,如此豪爽,果然人如其名。」



張飛爽爽。











關羽看三弟自薦,也接著拱手向袁紹打招呼。

「盟主您好,我是關羽,字雲長,逆天之賊,不義之士,皆我所不能容。」

袁紹:「關羽啊!關在籠中的羽翼,你是有自閉症嗎?哈哈。」說完嘲諷的的一笑。






(必你妹,他日老子必砍你大將。)關羽臉色一沉,摸髯不語。











袁紹接著望向劉備,遲疑了一下。

「你是...?」

劉備一驚,心想,還是不要說我是中山靖王的後代好了,免的讓袁紹兄覺得我太臭屁。

「我...我只是關羽跟張飛的......」



「等等,讓我猜,耳垂大幾觸肩、手臂長可過膝。」袁紹大悟。



袁紹:「你是布袋和尚的後代!」

劉備連忙搖頭。

袁紹見了劉備搖頭的樣貌,又大悟了一次。



袁紹:「你是波浪鼓。」


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◆ From: 1.164.100.51
ahw12000:有笑有推1F 03/28 00:33
typedying:人體波浪鼓 小孩最愛2F 03/28 00:34
SilentBob:張飛爽爽XD3F 03/28 00:34
maikfan:必你妹,他日老子必砍你大將 XD4F 03/28 00:35
ntcpe27:波浪鼓XDDDD5F 03/28 00:35
ph861403:xdddd6F 03/28 00:39
maiyan:波浪鼓後勁好強XD7F 03/28 00:41
LIONDODO:不錯XDDD8F 03/28 00:41
hank61204:XDD9F 03/28 00:41
leo1:哈哈最後有點家分~~~10F 03/28 00:41
inking:好冷靜的超展開11F 03/28 00:42
faceboook:波浪鼓XDDDD12F 03/28 00:42
IAMYAMAPI:波浪鼓哈哈哈13F 03/28 00:42
HCracker:布袋和尚是唐代之後才有的人14F 03/28 00:42
Gscout:好煩的袁紹 XD15F 03/28 00:44
bawnobody:波浪鼓讓我在電腦前笑出聲音來16F 03/28 00:45
logicman:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD17F 03/28 00:45
gungunit:媽的波浪鼓是三小啦18F 03/28 00:45
iamwilliams:袁紹有夠機車19F 03/28 00:46
JasonTea:不懂20F 03/28 00:48
tartrate:波浪鼓XDDDDDDDD21F 03/28 00:48
namieamuroma:波浪鼓超好笑 XDD22F 03/28 00:48
Alexis0204:波浪鼓害我大笑XDDDD23F 03/28 00:48
Roystu:白吃到好笑XDD24F 03/28 00:48
genteme:XDDD25F 03/28 00:48
tp950016:波浪鼓XDDDDDDDDD26F 03/28 00:49
g3u04jp6:說真的我笑好久27F 03/28 00:49
Abajohn:XDDDDD28F 03/28 00:51
YIDAN:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD29F 03/28 00:52
p910520670:有畫面XDDDDD30F 03/28 00:52
shinyhaung:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD31F 03/28 00:52
JasonTea:去GOOGLE才知道那個叫波浪鼓=  =32F 03/28 00:53
bluelikeme:咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚33F 03/28 00:54
abcdeffg:機車到經典了34F 03/28 00:55
flashgodie:這個袁紹是白吃嗎XDDDDDD35F 03/28 00:56
temma:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD36F 03/28 00:58
sky629:幹 好賤的猿少..................XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD37F 03/28 00:58
Hanksome:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD38F 03/28 00:58
Axarz631:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD39F 03/28 00:59
s87087:哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈40F 03/28 00:59
mabikerry:必你妹XDDDDD41F 03/28 00:59
HornyDragon:幹,我把木瓜汁噴到螢幕上去了XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD42F 03/28 00:59
fanofstella:請問波浪鼓是什麼梗啊43F 03/28 01:00
Hi2:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD44F 03/28 01:01
el500:憋笑好難過!!XD45F 03/28 01:02
samjo:經典.46F 03/28 01:02
xufunny:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD47F 03/28 01:02
pocky0511:波浪鼓....48F 03/28 01:03
turtleqqq:看不懂 不過大家推只好推了49F 03/28 01:05
ahinetn123:去辜狗查波浪鼓 劉備的耳朵很大所以搖頭的時候..50F 03/28 01:05
DJHINN:有點好笑...但是說給朋友聽...被罵無聊  Q_Q51F 03/28 01:06
animist:幹笑到噴淚啊XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD52F 03/28 01:06
atrabiliar31:幹好強 XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD53F 03/28 01:09
schatz8:這篇有笑XDDDDDDDDD54F 03/28 01:09
APUU:XDDDDDDDDDD55F 03/28 01:10
o07608:啥鬼波浪鼓啦XDDDDD56F 03/28 01:10
lorenzero:http://ppt.cc/4Yvw57F 03/28 01:11
[圖]
 
CDing:哈哈幹幹幹幹幹!!!!!!!!笑翻了58F 03/28 01:12
seeyou12:波浪鼓笑了XDDDDDDDDD59F 03/28 01:12
lmf770410:靠 後勁真強60F 03/28 01:12
taurus512:XDDDD61F 03/28 01:14
ji394su33000:XDDDDDDDDDD62F 03/28 01:14
rey123123:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 無厘頭爆笑63F 03/28 01:14
onelife:好個波浪鼓XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD64F 03/28 01:15
bladesaurus:幹這笑話有才XDDDDDD65F 03/28 01:16
deoxyribonuc:布袋和尚穿越了 可是博浪鼓太好笑了66F 03/28 01:17
CP543:袁紹的想像力也太豐富了吧XD67F 03/28 01:17
WEIKUNG:真哭XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD68F 03/28 01:18
boyce0209:XDD 這三小69F 03/28 01:22
tinyrain:XDDDDDDDDDDD70F 03/28 01:25
forests:不錯 我笑了71F 03/28 01:25
gotohikaru:幹有北七XDDDD72F 03/28 01:25
dust909:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD73F 03/28 01:26
ilace:XDDDDDDDD74F 03/28 01:27
james900007:?75F 03/28 01:29
happys425:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 好有畫面啊!!!!!!!76F 03/28 01:33
TW185930:無言......XD77F 03/28 01:34
tony77998:幹  看到圖就笑了XDDDDDDDD78F 03/28 01:37
gglk:真是大開眼界 這種笑點在joke可以這麼多推?79F 03/28 01:38
leon04277:樓上明顯沒有童年80F 03/28 01:41
Lavchi:...... = ="81F 03/28 01:41
a43164910:樓樓上明顯沒有童年82F 03/28 01:42
a43164910:被插了
malindorothy:好笑XD84F 03/28 01:45
Murasaki0110:三小XDDDDDDDDD85F 03/28 01:46
synparabola:XDDD86F 03/28 01:49
withfrog:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD87F 03/28 01:57
lumberer:波浪鼓也太展開了XD88F 03/28 01:58
eist:靠 怎麼這麼好笑XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD89F 03/28 01:59
costello:北七得很好笑90F 03/28 02:08
TaiwanXDman:超展開啥啦...91F 03/28 02:10
shamuro:好久沒笑到流淚了 XDDD92F 03/28 02:12
Keo:轉錄至某隱形看板                                            03/28 02:13
tnpaul:分頁分得不錯93F 03/28 02:13
ZMCG:XDDD 靠 好久沒看到真正的joke了94F 03/28 02:13
hungwei0810:超好笑XDDDDDDDDDDDD95F 03/28 02:14
PhySeraph:媽的逼逼扣我笑了96F 03/28 02:15
Datow:推真就可97F 03/28 02:16
er26562002:大爆笑XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD98F 03/28 02:17
er26562002:靠我很冷靜的看完 頓了兩秒XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
kevinfu619:XDDDDDDDDDDDDD100F 03/28 02:18
sddy:GOOD101F 03/28 02:18
a251012002:句y點剛剛好戳中笑點XDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!102F 03/28 02:20
glayteru00:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD103F 03/28 02:35
quen6788:幹  超好笑XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD104F 03/28 02:36
Xargon:好久沒在JOKE看到可以大笑的文章XD105F 03/28 02:41
secret1414:好好笑106F 03/28 02:43
h45279802:北濫XDDDDDDD關羽那段也很積八107F 03/28 02:45
wasky:後勁好強wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww108F 03/28 02:47
zeta203:109F 03/28 02:49
Ekmund:靠北喔這個袁紹整個壞掉了啊XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD110F 03/28 02:50
comballday:看完圖片後笑了XDD111F 03/28 02:51
gn00324893:.....非常不好笑阿.......傻眼 JOKE怎了....112F 03/28 02:59
iamnotanape:...113F 03/28 03:01
love19870314:懂梗的人才會會心一笑吧:)114F 03/28 03:04
ax227762:機掰XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD115F 03/28 03:14
wangmytsai:白痴嗎XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD116F 03/28 03:18
icenivek:波浪鼓是三小XDDDDDDDDDDD117F 03/28 03:18
nejoy:爆!118F 03/28 03:20
s908322001:必你妹~119F 03/28 03:25
johngood2032:瞬間大笑XDDDDDDDDDDDD120F 03/28 03:42
btohsa:XDDDDDD121F 03/28 04:01
dude0324:這個XDDDDDD122F 03/28 04:09
a29818859:後勁強到笑到肚子痛XDDDDD123F 03/28 04:26
ben91lin:好笑~124F 03/28 04:28
Fuzishan:xd125F 03/28 05:09
aries1985:乾 這篇笑點好清新126F 03/28 05:39
kk032576:愣一下開始笑XDDDDDDDDDDDDD127F 03/28 05:44
open13:腦中滿是劉備形狀的波浪鼓在甩XDDDDDDDD128F 03/28 05:46
Hevak:看第二次才懂XDDDDDDDDD129F 03/28 06:16
pinkeypinkey:整個很白爛XD130F 03/28 06:44
ymca900:只能推了 正在玩真三六131F 03/28 06:53
Punksanji:Wtf…XDDDDDDDDD132F 03/28 06:58
anper:看了圖才懂XD133F 03/28 07:12
p09171989:幹 我愣了三秒等畫面出來後才笑噴134F 03/28 07:32
yoqwqq:@@?135F 03/28 07:35
ThreeNG:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD136F 03/28 07:41
dreamcity:顏良文醜表示:難怪....137F 03/28 07:47
limitoka:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 清流138F 03/28 07:48
eddiego:很機車耶 袁紹139F 03/28 07:58
Yie:XDDD140F 03/28 08:04
therewego:呃?141F 03/28 08:05
pratt:幹 笑了142F 03/28 08:05
boxcool:啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪143F 03/28 08:05
xtxml:有畫面XDD144F 03/28 08:06
berice152233:讚啦XD145F 03/28 08:16
thedeathhero:幹波浪鼓後勁太強不晃會被撞到地上146F 03/28 08:26
mymike12:敘述好可愛147F 03/28 08:38
e1q3z9c7:金價北懶148F 03/28 08:48
xshane831:XDDD149F 03/28 08:55
putout:幹XDDDDDDDDDDDDD超智障150F 03/28 08:59
SIAYATE:波浪股太強151F 03/28 09:02
cikk1942:....??????152F 03/28 09:08
hirabbitt:...!!!!!!153F 03/28 09:10
brianzzy:清流笑話XD154F 03/28 09:11
Acrono:XDD155F 03/28 09:12
onlysnoopy:XDDDDDDDD156F 03/28 09:15
yoyotvyoyo:是會心一笑... 但有到爆嗎0.0...157F 03/28 09:17
WLR:google看到圖片後就笑了XD158F 03/28 09:19
xxx60709:爆笑,光爆還不夠啦XDDDDDDDDDDDDD159F 03/28 09:20
Green952756:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD160F 03/28 09:22
FallRed:一堆人沒童年   真可憐161F 03/28 09:29
keynes0420:笑不出來就沒童年?樓上智商還沒脫離童年吧,真可憐162F 03/28 09:41
yoyotvyoyo:這和童年有啥關係... 酸點真怪= =163F 03/28 09:43
crazyL:波浪鼓個屁阿XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD164F 03/28 09:45
theeht:笑不出來的可能也有童年,但肯定沒幽默感165F 03/28 09:50
terrywolf:每人笑點不同吧166F 03/28 09:51
yoyotvyoyo:肯定沒幽默感也出來了XDDDD167F 03/28 09:52
kungfu:每個人的笑點不同  憑什麼說別人沒童年沒幽默感?168F 03/28 09:53
ElvesDaniel:XD169F 03/28 09:55
Wahaha:清流170F 03/28 09:57
asazen:好冷靜的說出超展開阿XDDDDDDDDD171F 03/28 10:18
thankyoualot:XDDDDDDDDDDD172F 03/28 10:27
julian30320:靠杯XDDDDDDDDDDD173F 03/28 10:27
yhchen2:你笑點低就說別人沒幽默感喔? 沒笑都不行喔?174F 03/28 10:29
oplk:XD175F 03/28 10:29
e1q3z9c7:噓的人也太激動了176F 03/28 10:35
keynes0420:剛剛純噓樓上,補推177F 03/28 10:46
s0857168:艾涅爾表示:我才是真正的波浪鼓178F 03/28 10:51
nixing:跟幽默感有啥關係= =179F 03/28 10:56
jtrsp:我覺得虛的人也蠻好笑的啊顆顆180F 03/28 10:57
Eclivan:看到"布袋和尚的後代" 突然大笑 XDDDDDD181F 03/28 11:07
TheAvenGer:XDDDDDDDD幹182F 03/28 11:13
maneuver:靠盃 波浪鼓後勁太強 連畫面都想像出來了XDDDDDD183F 03/28 11:15
a9613148:波浪鼓 XDDD184F 03/28 11:20
a43164910:看到一堆人打??表示看不懂還滿有梗的185F 03/28 11:33
iloveben75:波浪鼓XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD186F 03/28 11:42
Axarz631:現在的孩子只剩戰鬥陀螺可以玩了,不知道波浪鼓很正常XD187F 03/28 11:42
milker:哪裡好笑=.=怎麼想都不像188F 03/28 11:51
Eclivan:我還是覺得光布袋和尚我就笑了...幫忙補推~~189F 03/28 11:52
lucifer19:波浪鼓超北爛190F 03/28 11:52
asazen:劉備:咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚191F 03/28 11:56
dearevan:劉備:咚咚咚咚咚咚鏘192F 03/28 12:21
oue:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD193F 03/28 12:48
a2156700:咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚咚194F 03/28 13:02
dryada:波浪鼓甩得挺用力的嘛195F 03/28 13:06
vi000246:不要讓我想像這畫面啊XDDDDDDDDDDDD196F 03/28 13:11
kameil120:超靠北XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD197F 03/28 13:12
undeadj:....198F 03/28 13:18
jetrider:爆199F 03/28 13:31
hchs31705:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD200F 03/28 13:37
gsuper:???201F 03/28 13:52
a12602183136:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD202F 03/28 13:52
catlive:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD203F 03/28 13:57
SentoS:好多護航推文喔,我也來護一下好了 ^^"204F 03/28 14:13
housemale:笑  不  出  來205F 03/28 14:13
satsukidiru:感謝原po讓我今天笑的很開心XD206F 03/28 14:25
yhaui:有畫面207F 03/28 14:27
jo8246hn:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD208F 03/28 14:40
whiteluna:好白爛啊這篇XDDDDDDD209F 03/28 14:41
fromwilda:XDDD210F 03/28 14:46
ssskav:波浪鼓超有畫面的XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD211F 03/28 14:51
zankuro:3小啦XDDDDDD212F 03/28 15:06
sing20020903:XD213F 03/28 15:15
penolove:幹這算三小  這樣抱了 真的三小214F 03/28 15:19
TGJ25566:原PO你老實說~你想這梗想多久?215F 03/28 15:22
ts21020:XDDDDDDDDD216F 03/28 15:38
kyhkyh:XD217F 03/28 15:43
pttuser1:後勁強! XD218F 03/28 15:47
jamesli5:太好笑啦~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~219F 03/28 15:58
icome:袁紹好機XDDD220F 03/28 16:06
gemini2010:看到張飛爽爽就笑了XD221F 03/28 16:08
rosary:後勁好強 XDDD 憋笑得好痛苦222F 03/28 16:19
reasonal:這袁紹好煩XD223F 03/28 16:20
yoyogirlx:XDDDDDD224F 03/28 16:50
ttesing8990:頓了兩秒之後笑不停XDDDDDDDDD225F 03/28 16:54
shyshy:三個月最難笑得爆文226F 03/28 17:12
malogo:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD波浪鼓超讚的~227F 03/28 17:45
kennyru04wj4:劉備一邊甩頭:咚咚嚨咚鏘228F 03/28 18:15
fakeayumi:波浪鼓真的超有後勁XDD229F 03/28 18:33
Madias:XDDDDD230F 03/28 18:43
vengeance104:波浪鼓XDDDDDDDDDDD231F 03/28 19:00
a246811:?232F 03/28 19:24
e1q3z9c7:我可以體會噓文者的心情 但還是要爆233F 03/28 19:27
adidas168:我居然看的懂...234F 03/28 19:44
pcshsky1201:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD235F 03/28 20:15
munin1005:XD236F 03/28 20:23
weizxcvb:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD237F 03/28 20:25
timeshadow:好強的後勁啊!!!笑死我啦!!!238F 03/28 20:38
Bickmiya:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD幹超厲害239F 03/28 20:50
Excalibur017:100分啦!!!!這才是JOKE魂!!240F 03/28 21:10
Herlo:難笑241F 03/28 21:26
rocksunnylim:波浪鼓有笑到242F 03/28 21:40
a37961688:沒笑...243F 03/28 21:45
belongs:波浪鼓XDDDDDDD244F 03/28 21:47
zxc5421:劉備嗎XD?  http://ppt.cc/Eg0E245F 03/28 21:49
bheegrl:這三小啊XDDD246F 03/28 21:53
tigerflyer:...247F 03/28 21:59
oldbear:不好笑248F 03/28 22:17
etwaslai:好好笑XDDDDDDDDD249F 03/28 22:22
presedentpin:超好笑XDDDDDD250F 03/28 22:24
Elivanta:原來那叫波浪鼓...251F 03/28 22:52
HoarSheep:吼唷 XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD252F 03/28 22:53
GyroZ:無聊253F 03/28 22:53
ts21020:XD254F 03/28 22:58
grlie8027:無聊 知道真相也笑不太出來255F 03/28 23:07
a1032136:幹好好笑256F 03/28 23:15
willis0623:我大笑XDDDDD257F 03/29 00:37
icyplum:有效258F 03/29 00:39
nojoewu:真的笑不停XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD259F 03/29 01:38
lovecollyi:波浪鼓XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD260F 03/29 03:22
SevenSins: GJ!261F 03/29 08:30
cikk1942:...這也在笑 = =262F 03/29 11:57
nerv3890:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD263F 03/29 12:50
nerv3890:兩天內看了好多遍還是超好笑哈哈哈
jark41:.....265F 03/29 13:03
Dinhon:愣了三秒後狂笑XDDDD266F 03/29 14:50
princessmake:XD267F 03/29 19:58
revolute:波浪鼓是哪招XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD268F 03/29 22:02
iammai:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD269F 03/29 22:38
jerrymomo:XDDDDDDDDDDDD270F 03/29 22:56
duckhaya:???271F 03/30 00:28
smelly:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD272F 03/30 00:54
allnun:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD273F 03/30 12:24
chiz2:274F 03/30 14:30
bladesaurus:推回來275F 03/30 15:37
atdavid:這袁紹是白癡嗎276F 03/30 19:52
a31670323:XDDDDD277F 03/30 22:26
vlckcy:完了我嘴角很硬278F 03/31 00:12
classes:波浪鼓後勁很強 XDDDDDDDDDDDD279F 03/31 01:05
joegibye:這系列正點XD280F 03/31 02:43

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