※ 本文轉寄自 ptt.cc 更新時間: 2022-09-12 01:40:26
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作者 標題 [翻譯] Reddit:兩句鬼話 15則
時間 Sun Sep 11 19:27:46 2022
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1.
當我回家發現老婆跟另一個男人睡在一起時,我傷心到立刻奪門而出。
一直到我隔天回來才發現,後門門鎖被破壞了。
原文網址:https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/s7yphf/i_was_so_
I was so devastated when I came home and found my wife in bed with another man that I left without saying a word. : TwoSentenceHorror 21.6k votes, 323 comments. It wasn't until the day after when I finally returned that I noticed the lock on the back door was broken. ...
2.
“您離目的地還有十公尺---三十公---八公尺。” 當GPS今晚當機第四次後,我終於決定
停車看看它是出了什麼問題。
隨著車子逐漸停下,GPS 再次開始導航,“三公尺---兩公---一公---它已到達您的所在
地。”
原文網址:https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/wvkkpb/you_are_t
"YOU ARE TEN METE-- THIRTY METE-- EIGHT METERS FROM YOUR DESTINATION" the GPS stuttered for the fourth time tonight as I pulled over to finally fix the damn thing. : TwoSentenceHorror 10.2k votes, 253 comments. "YOU ARE FOUR METERS FR--" it continued as the car came to a halt, "THREE METE-- TWO MET-- ONE M--, IT HAS ARRIVED AT … ...
3.
[此文章已被Reddit移除]
[文章內提及2023-2052年間所發生之事件違反使用條款]
原文網址:https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/x8yfav/removed_b
[ Removed by Reddit ] : TwoSentenceHorror
9.5k votes, 229 comments. [ It is forbidden to publicize information regarding the upcoming events of 2023-2052 ] ...
9.5k votes, 229 comments. [ It is forbidden to publicize information regarding the upcoming events of 2023-2052 ] ...
4.
當她看到我拎著的那兩顆人頭,她立刻緊擁我並開始與我深吻。
“爸媽再也不能阻止我們在一起了。”我邊說邊親吻她的後背。
原文網址:https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/t81xfx/as_i_pres
As I presented the two severed heads to her, she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me deeply. : TwoSentenceHorror 9.9k votes, 220 comments. “Mom and dad can’t keep us apart anymore,” I said before kissing her back. ...
5.
“爸爸,為什麼媽咪這麼討厭我?” 我兒子問,眼睛裡充滿了悲傷和恐懼。
決定是時候告訴他事實,我回答道,“她只是對你在分娩時活下來,但她沒有的事實感到
生氣而已”
原文網址:https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/u9exuw/daddy_why
"Daddy, why is mommy always so mean to me?" my son asks, his tear-stained face wrought with sadness and fear. : TwoSentenceHorror 15.9k votes, 154 comments. Deciding that it's finally time to tell him the truth, I say, "she's just upset that you survived childbirth and she … ...
6.
“媽咪,媽咪!今天有個吸血鬼在學校攻擊我們,所以我們把它綁了起來並曬在陽光下,
它尖叫了好幾個小時呢!”
貝克小姐震驚的聽著,雙手緊握學校通知有白化病*學童入學的信函。
(註:白化病是一遺傳疾病,病患因皮膚缺乏色素而變白,病患眼睛一般呈紅色,且畏光
,並易有視力上的缺陷)
原文網址:https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/sblkqq/mommy_mom
"Mommy, mommy, a vampire tried to ambush us on the playground today, but we tied it up and let it scream for hours in the sunlight!" : TwoSentenceHorror 15.7k votes, 213 comments. Mrs. Baker listened in shock, while she clutched the school letter on the needs of the new student with albinism. ...
7.
昨天我的五歲小孩看了哈利波特電影,
今天我發現掃把不見了,且我們位於十樓的客廳窗戶是打開的。
原文網址:https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/rglxhy/yesterday
Yesterday I showed my five year old Harry Potter for the first time. : TwoSentenceHorror 15.4k votes, 262 comments. Today I found the broom missing and the living room window of our 10th story apartment wide open. ...
8.
當他們確認門鎖有鎖上後,就都放心了下來。
他們從來沒想到門不是自己上鎖的可能性。
原文網址:https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/tenpfv/everyone_
Everyone feels safe when they double check that the door is locked. : TwoSentenceHorror 15.3k votes, 156 comments. They never seem to consider it might not have been them that locked it. ...
9.
隨著AI的飛速發展,第一台能感受到疼痛的機器在2030年被研發出來。
然而,第一台能表達自身疼痛的機器要到30年後才出現。
原文網址:https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/s70byw/with_adva
With advances in AI, the first machine capable of feeling pain was created in 2030 : TwoSentenceHorror 15.1k votes, 195 comments. The first machine capable of expressing pain was created 30 years later. ...
10.
經歷多年的痛苦折磨後,我感到全身輕飄飄的,知道我終於要離開這地獄了。
“醫生,這病人差點就走了!”這是我打開眼睛後,聽到護士說的第一句話。
原文網址:https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/v3vdo5/after_dec
After decades of torture and agony, I was finally lifted up in the sky, thinking I had served my time in hell. : TwoSentenceHorror 14.4k votes, 262 comments. "Doctor, we lost him for a second!", I heard the nurse say when I opened my eyes. ...
11.
“爸爸,有人在我的床下!” 我的女兒尖叫著,但我完全不敢出來救她。
躲在床底下,在綁架她的人的房子裡,我開始思考她為什麼會那樣說。
原文網址:https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/u2o9i8/daddy_the
"Daddy, there's someone under my bed!" my daughter screamed, but I was too scared to go out and save her. : TwoSentenceHorror 14.3k votes, 155 comments. Hiding under her bed, in her kidnapper's house, I couldn't help but wonder why she called him that. ...
12.
當看到死後的統計數據時,我恐懼的盯著“殺人幫凶”一欄出現的數據:27。
更讓我感到害怕的是我是自殺防治熱線的接線員。
原文網址:https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/s67nvs/as_i_was_
As I was shown the statistics of my life after death, I stared in horror at the 27 'assist kills.' : TwoSentenceHorror 14.0k votes, 167 comments. The horror was far more striking for me, seeing as I was a suicide hotline worker. ...
13.
母親曾經告訴我許多有關女巫的故事:那個女巫在她年輕時詛咒了她,告訴她將來會失去
她的家庭、摯愛、和人生中每一份的快樂。
當我到安置老年痴呆病患的安養院探望她,每一次,看到母親目光呆滯的盯著我,都讓我
想起那些故事。
原文網址:https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/vyef14/mom_used_
Mom used to tell stories of a witch who cursed her when she was young, foretelling that she would lose her family, lose her love, and every last shred of joy in her life. : TwoSentenceHorror 13.5k votes, 145 comments. I often think about that story when I visit her in the Alzheimer's ward, and she just blankly stares at me with unfocused … ...
14.
在進入身體後,寄生蟲會移動到大腦並開始繁殖,病患出現的第一個症狀是大量頭髮突然
掉落。
寄生蟲在發育完成後,尾巴會在頭皮冒出以吸收陽光,然後病患會覺得頭髮長回來了。
原文網址:https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/t5171f/after_ent
After entering your body, the parasites would migrate to your brain where they start to multiply and the first symptom would be sudden, massive hair loss. : TwoSentenceHorror 15.0k votes, 244 comments. During the maturation phase, their tails would gradually sprout through your skull to get sunlight, and you would think … ...
15.
[已更新:離開因沒打掃家裡而打斷我手臂的丈夫算不算混蛋的一種啊?*]
(註:原文標題開頭為AITA,是AmItheAsshole版的標準開頭格式,此版內容為討論發文
者各種行為的惡劣程度)
更新:他已經跟我道歉,說他很愛我,並保證這種事不會再發生了,所以我很開心的宣布
要回到他身邊了!
原文網址:https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/wuy1et/update_ai
UPDATE: AITA for leaving after my husband broke my wrist for not cleaning? : TwoSentenceHorror 17.1k votes, 325 comments. He apologized, told me he loves me, and promised it wouldn't happen again, so I'm happy to report I am going back home! ...
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※ 文章代碼(AID): #1Z7SPDlR (marvel)
※ 文章網址: https://www.ptt.cc/bbs/marvel/M.1662895693.A.BDB.html
※ 編輯: Lemonfish004 (42.73.243.51 臺灣), 09/11/2022 19:28:38
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推 : 9真是太看得起人類的同理心 能感受疼痛卻不能表達的物1F 09/11 19:45
→ : 種多了去 we don’t fuxking care
→ : 種多了去 we don’t fuxking care
推 : 11、15看不太懂3F 09/11 20:15
推 : 我也覺得無法表達疼痛,至少無法讓人類明確知道的物種非常4F 09/11 20:35
→ : 多,寵物就是其一
→ : 多,寵物就是其一
推 : 15就當事人要回到家暴人身邊啊6F 09/11 21:02
推 : 11是真爸爸要去營救被綁架的女兒 但被綁架的女兒一直以7F 09/11 21:10
→ : 為綁架犯才是爸爸吧
→ : 為綁架犯才是爸爸吧
推 : 謝謝翻譯 好好看9F 09/11 21:27
推 : 15可能是兩句話不同人打的 因為第2句像極了強勢那方才10F 09/11 21:51
→ : 會說的話
→ : 會說的話
推 : 4.要怎麼抱在一起又親到女方的背的?12F 09/11 22:02
推 : 各種屁孩欸這次13F 09/11 22:28
推 : 2看不懂@@14F 09/11 22:41
推 : 2 是在報鬼的位置15F 09/11 22:55
推 : 推16F 09/11 23:01
推 : 3是中介法美國版17F 09/11 23:08
推 : 11 為什麼認賊作父有些莫名
推 : 11 為什麼認賊作父有些莫名
推 : 11說話的人會不會是媽媽?19F 09/11 23:23
推 : 12看不懂 感謝翻譯20F 09/11 23:43
推 : 12看不懂21F 09/12 00:15
推 : 看了12原文應該是死後每個人都有一個統計表 而主角的統
→ : 計表上幫兇的部分是27
→ : 這部分感覺不太好翻出那個味道 還是感謝原po翻譯~
推 : 看了12原文應該是死後每個人都有一個統計表 而主角的統
→ : 計表上幫兇的部分是27
→ : 這部分感覺不太好翻出那個味道 還是感謝原po翻譯~
推 : 9機器:該修我了(x25F 09/12 00:20
推 : 跟意圖自殺者的應對太失敗26F 09/12 00:35
推 : 11求翻譯27F 09/12 00:40
推 : 感謝翻譯28F 09/12 00:43
推 : 11第一人稱是不是媽媽29F 09/12 00:49
→ : 12應該是主角死後看到的關於自己人生的總結,身為自
→ : 殺防治熱線卻促成了27個人最終選擇自殺
→ : 補充11的小孩可能很小分不清楚爸爸其實在綁架他
→ : 12應該是主角死後看到的關於自己人生的總結,身為自
→ : 殺防治熱線卻促成了27個人最終選擇自殺
→ : 補充11的小孩可能很小分不清楚爸爸其實在綁架他
推 : 好多個都又悲傷又可怕,啊,人生33F 09/12 00:59
推 : 第一則看完的第一反應是奪門而出那個把門搬走的爛笑話34F 09/12 01:18
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